We finally gave voice to subjects and feelings that would have consumed our thoughts at any other time, but had been placed on a back burner because of the global pandemic we were both trying to help others get through. We discussed my father's recent passing just two weeks ago, his cousin dying yesterday, how my aunt was doing with her chemotherapy, and when his father could have surgery to remove the melanoma recently found on his back. For the first time in weeks, we talked about the other things going on in our lives. I asked him if we could take care of us.Īfter pulling together a quick dinner of cold pizza and silencing our phones, we found a comfy spot and asked our good friend Alexa to set a timer for 25 minutes. I told him I could see that he was at a breaking point, and I asked him if we could do what I’ve coached thousands of leaders across the country to do in moments like this. As I knew he would, he agreed without needing to know what it was because that's who he is. I listened quietly until the initial unloading of the day's events was over before I gently asked him if he could do me a favor. I looked at his face after nearly a month without a single day off, and I could see the stress building up behind his beautiful blue eyes. A few minutes later, he joined me in my virtual office and began expressing the challenges today's healthcare professionals are facing to manage the COVID-19 crisis. I was in my virtual office, and he briefly made eye contact with a smile in greeting that looked more like a grimace on his way past me. His work-driven smart phone was pressed to his ear with his left hand, and his personal phone was in his right hand dinging notifications of text messages from those who couldn't reach him on his work phone. On Sunday he came home the way he usually does lately. I truly believe if it wasn't for the fact that I am someone with an underlying condition that puts me at high-risk for the coronavirus, he would rarely leave his team. His sense of urgency to take care of his people, so they can take care of their patients is unrelenting– weekends are just two additional days to accomplish what needs to get done. While his body is in the bricks and mortar of his command center more than 12 hours a day, his heart and mind are dedicated to the patients and employees literally 24/7. Our phone rings from dawn to dusk, and he answers it with enthusiasm and a genuine desire to help every time. My best friend serves as lead for the incident command center of his healthcare facility. The second thing I learned is to intentionally set a timer, or COVID will creep in before the 20 minutes is up.
Once that's out of their system, you can realistically implement a 20-minute NO COVID TALK ZONE. The first is that you must set a time limit (15-20 minutes) to allow loved ones an opportunity to dump the toxic load of stress created from the day. I’ve learned two things since I posted those tips from my own household of healthcare professionals. One of those tips was to take a minimum of 20 minutes each day- immediately after work-to connect with loved-ones without discussing COVID-19 in any way. Easier said than done. I recently shared five tips with my clients who work in health care to promote resilience through self-care during the COVID-19 pandemic.
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